After months of phone messages, emails, tweets, friend requests, pokes and super pokes, I have finally been granted an interview with the creative genius that is, SLAM magazine. They are the voice of young kids everywhere. Finding ways to connect with the worlds youth unlike anyother publication of its kind. Growing up, my friends and I would beg our parents to buy it for us each month. My walls were coverd with carefully cutout pictures from every issue. I used to make my grandmother refer to me only as, Dr. Slammy. I am very excited about this chance to take a peek behind the curtain of SLAM.
First of all big ups on returning my celly calls. I was bugging so hard cause I thought you were avoidin' me, straight up. Um, yeah, no problem.
My first Q is basically off the chain, and I think you be agreein'. What kind of whip do you push, and how fresh to def is it? On a scale on wizzon to tizzen. Those are personal questions that have nothing to do with the magazine. You also don't have to talk to me like that just because I'm black, you sound like a moron.
Wait... what? You are? Oh, Geez dude, sorry but I didnt even notice, I don't see colors, only people. That's how I talk with my friends. I thought we were friends. I guess not. So I guess you don't care that I drive a Mitsubishi Elantra? Listen man, youre gonna need to hurry this up I've got my lunch break in ten minutes.
In your magazine, amongst the cars, baggy clothes and earrings, the models are also carrying a basketball. All the other male fashion magazines I know of, don't have any basketballs in their photos, why do you? There seems to be some confusion here. Slam magazine is a basketball publication, we run stories on all aspects of basketball culture. Those photos you are referring to are of actual basketball players, most of them NBA superstars.
I guess that makes sense with the whole basketballs in the photo thing. I have to admit, I've never actually read your articles, I only look at the pretty pictures. So lets say I want to work on my jump shot or learn the intricacies of the triangle offense, which issue do you cover that in? I can't quite recall, however we do have a excititng new feature coming up on our web site. It is called "Twitter your way into the NBA." It's basketball tips given at 140 charachters a pop. We cover all the latest cell phones in our magazine, and if you purchase one and sign up with us, we will send you "twitter" messages to your phone. For example, "dnt look at ball, keep eyez up 2 c bsket n other plyrs, ya dig?" It is going to revolutionize the game.
I can totally see that. Here is my final quiestion. The other day I was going to go lift weights and get up 250 jumpers. But the bench press kept knocking my hat off, then, whenever I dribbled through my legs the ball kept getting stuck in my shorts. I thought, what would SLAM do in this situation? I''m glad you asked. We ran a story last month called "When Are Shorts Pants?" The quick answer is never. If you are having trouble drbbling the ball between your legs, just stop and hold the ball on your hip. Make sure your shoes are brand new and limited edition. Then stand around with a pissed off look on your face (preferably with a cool car in the background.) The NBA scouts will come running, and literally throwing money at you.
Well, thank you for your time. This has been really helpfull to me and I am sure to the millions of kids dreaming of playing in the NBA. I look forward to the next issue of SLAM. No problem Hercules Dragonwarrior, thank you.
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